cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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