it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize