She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
