I cannot find my penis.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
