Non-Jews are for practice
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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