We're like a lot better than the average bears
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
