I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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