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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
