i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
