hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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