Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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