u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
