Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize