I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
