Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
