He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
