strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
