Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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