So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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