half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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