we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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