Don't you send me to vm
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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