I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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