Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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