the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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