Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
