I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
