See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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