Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
