pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
