She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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