I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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