i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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