Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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