I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
