apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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