You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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