Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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