I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
plz talk dirty to me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
