I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize