Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
