but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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