I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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