operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
