I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
