idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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