Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
