was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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