please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
