Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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