i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
