I am puke
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize