Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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