I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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