I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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