The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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