i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
