I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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