Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
