i don't like sucking hair
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize