yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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