I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize