how can u be prego again
Me too!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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