I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Buhtt sex?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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