benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
