Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
