the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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