I love having hate sex.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
