but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
