please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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