ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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