you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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