he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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