I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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