at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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