I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
