He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
