You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
